IC Inbox
This is the IC inbox for Bucky Barnes at Riverview.
Network name:user.name
This is the place to contact Bucky over the network. Contact by voice or text is perfectly acceptable, and there is no need to plot with me prior to posting in this inbox.
Note: As of the end of December 2017, Bucky has no phone, he has destroyed it. Consequently, this inbox can only be used for in person interaction. You are still more than welcome to post here without plotting with me first.
Network name:
This is the place to contact Bucky over the network. Contact by voice or text is perfectly acceptable, and there is no need to plot with me prior to posting in this inbox.
Note: As of the end of December 2017, Bucky has no phone, he has destroyed it. Consequently, this inbox can only be used for in person interaction. You are still more than welcome to post here without plotting with me first.

no subject
He does not look good when she gets there, his hair is greasy, his clothes are dirty, and he has the tired look of someone that's been running almost nonstop for days now. Mostly because he kind of has, if not literally.]
Over here.
no subject
She looks him up and down, and her mouth twists down at one corner.]
You doing okay?
no subject
Did you get changed recently?
no subject
[She... looks down at her clothing??]
New jacket...?
[Her old one was falling apart, and this place has so much stuff she couldn't help herself. She picks at it absently, suddenly self-conscious and then it-- hits her that's probably not what he's talking about.]
Oh. You mean. The-- that. Thing. Where everyone was different.
no subject
[It's only a slight grunt of agreement, but the look in his eyes when he focused on her is intense and concerned. Was it her too? Was it everyone?
He doesn't say anything else yet, just waiting for her answer. He wants to know what she experienced, and if she's also lost a lot of what it was when it was done.]
no subject
Yeah. It... my girlfr-- Riley. Riley was alive, and it was me and her going on the big trip to get to the Fireflies. Uh-- anti-government rogue military group, the only other people who had the resources to try and do something with my whole. [she gestures vaguely at her arm. it's always covered, but he's seen the scars.] thing.
[The trip was harder than it was (would have been?) with Joel. Two teenage girls alone in the wilderness? They got tough fast. They had to. But when it was good... fuck, it was so good--]
I never met Joel. Never-- [a huff.] -- you know, with the cannibal fucks that tried to eat me.
no subject
So it wasn't just that you were sent back into your past.
[Because that's what it was for him.
It sounds like she had maybe a better time, some nice memories of what could have been. But that could be worse sometimes, a bittersweet reminder of impossible circumstances.]
no subject
No. No-- more like, an alternate reality or something. Sounds like something out of a fucking comic book.
[A beat.]
Was that what it was like for you? Your past somehow?
no subject
Yeah.
[He digs into his pocket and pulls out a folded and faded photograph, a black and white of a smiling army sergeant in dress uniform, and holds it out to her.]
A past I don't remember very well.
no subject
The change is-- remarkable. Obscene. If he hadn't told her outright, she doesn't think she would have realized it was the same person. Just like that picture of Joel and Sarah together, before the world went to shit. It isn't fair that people have to suffer.
She commits it to memory, hands it back with a wry smile.]
Pretty cute, but just between you and me? Guy looks kinda like a smart-ass.
[She doesn't want to tell him outright, I like who you are now. But she can certainly imply it.]
no subject
Yeah, a real punk.
[He hesitates a moment, but she deserves to know why experiencing that happier past has messed him up so much at the moment.]
But him, who I was, he was taken from me. I don't remember a lot, and even after living it again, I still don't remember. Something here changed me and I couldn't fight it, I never want that to happen again.
no subject
[She does. How awful it must be, to see a glimpse of some other - better? - time, only to have it ripped away. And having fucked up memories on top of it all...
There are only a few things a person ever has that make them human. She figures memories are probably part of that. It must feel awful, lacking those, being some-- fucked up creature of raw nerves and anger. It puts things in context for her, a little. Why he is the way he is, how long he's been hurting. Like a broken bone you walk on until you've ground down the jagged edges of the fracture into something manageable. You can use the limb: but at what fucking cost?
She sits down on a log, and opens up her pack. She brought food, of course - that's just ritual by now with him.]
You... wanna talk about it? Or would you rather just blow shit up? I may have liberated some C4 from the armoury... you know, for a rainy day...
no subject
No. Never. He's terrified to talk about it in depth, there are things that he fears will eat him alive if he lets them out of the dark recesses of his mind. But the basics, the truth, those are things she deserves to know from him. She's earned that level of trust, the one Clark has already reached.]
How much do you know about history before the outbreak?
[That is assuming they're even from comparable worlds.]
Heard of the Second World War? Adolf Hitler?
no subject
[Probably less than she thinks she does. War history was still taught in military prep, but Boston didn't exactly have any living historians. The version of history she knew was mostly distilled by the lowest common denominator, and mostly: nobody fucking cared. Ancient history didn't mean squat - even as far as learning tactics went - when what you were fighting in the now was a more clear and present danger.]
Uh... he bombed Pearl Harbour - Hawaii, right? - and America went and kicked his ass into next week.
[Because of course she only knows the Jingoistic version. She probably couldn't name the other allies if she tried.]
no subject
That man, [He nods towards the photograph he showed her.] was a soldier in that war. Sergeant James Barnes, a sniper, until he-- I-- was caught by HYDRA, the deep science division of the Nazi Party, and experimented on. Didn't know it at the time, but those experiments saved my life when I fell from a train into a ravine later, lost my arm, and HYDRA found me half dead. They did things... made me into the Soldier. I forgot my name, I forgot everything except obedience. I was a weapon, and when I wasn't used I was put in storage. That's what I did for seventy years.
[That's glossing over huge parts of what HYDRA did to him, but Ellie's smart, she can probably infer the sorts of things needed to make a man become literally a shell of himself.]
A few months ago something-- happened, let me break the programming and I ran. I learned my name by visiting a museum, I still don't remember a lot of who I am, and I'm still dangerous.
no subject
This is big, and bad, and way fucking worse than she was expecting. She's used to a world where torture is normal, where humans are barely more than feral animals snarling at each other over the ragged scraps of a dead world, but this. It's so cold and cruel and deliberate.]
Fuckers.
[It's her sole pronouncement on what she thinks of these people, clear and without ambiguity. She'd probably kill them if she had half a chance. She looks down at her hands, and rubs at a patch of scuffed-up skin, some sort of healing scrape.]
So... what's next? Just kind of... figuring things out as you go along?
no subject
[He wishes that he had a plan that was greater than that, but he doesn't. It's just to survive and keep himself from slipping into the weapon again.]
I know that some of what they put in my head is still there, it's why I keep myself away from people so that I don't hurt anyone that I don't mean to.
[He shrugs, like that's just a normal sort of existence.]
I'm making new memories, I'm making choices, it's something.
no subject
It is something.
[And she bets it's hard. Sure, maybe she's never-- been through all that, but she's seen (and done) enough now that she can empathize it. Seems like it was one more awful chapter in a no-good very-shitty life. Her demons live in her head, too. He probably has to face his every fucking day.
(She tries to. She does. But sometimes it's too much, and in a place where she has the luxury of being able to stay in bed if she wants, she feels like sometimes she probably takes that opportunity too often.)]
I'm glad that hanging out with me is a choice you're making. You know. For the record, and all.
[She wants to ask if the people responsible are dead, but she won't. That's a personal question. David's dead, but she doesn't want to fucking tell people that she did it, or how. She isn't ready to say I turned a guy into hamburger with a machete while the world burned around me. He doesn't have to say it either if he doesn't want. She can just be quiet and understanding, and maybe that's what friendship is. Maybe it's part of who she's becoming. She likes the thought that maybe it's something she can be good at, so far away from the ruined wasteland of her life.]
no subject
The tiniest of smiles touches his lips as he reaches out to take the drumstick finally, though he doesn't sit down.]
You need higher standards, kid.
[But he's pleased that it's a choice he's making too. Every time he sees her, sees anyone, and the interaction isn't violent or vicious, it's-- better, good, it reminds him that he is something more than a weapon now.]
no subject
[She puts her nose in the air for emphasis, and fakes a bad British accent for that last bit for no real reason except that she's being a bit of a little shit.]
But seriously, though? I'd take you on your worst day over most of the people here on their best. And I mean that.
[She shrugs, the packs of her bag riding up on her skinny shoulders.]
no subject
You're not bad to be around either.
[He means more than that, but can't really say it.]
It's good to have a friend.
no subject
Yeah. [She rubs her nose on her sleeve.] Guess it is.
no subject
I'll walk you back.
[She doesn't need it, but the offer is there.]
no subject
Okay, okay. Let's go.
[A little sideways look.]
One of these days, you should really come over for dinner.
no subject
[He's not good at sticking in one place too long, and closing himself in with someone else's walls isn't going to sit well in his head.]
But you can bring dinner out here.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)