advanced | For Steve

For Steve

[It's blisteringly hot, a real heat wave this July, and Bucky isn't happy for it. Sure, the hot weather is usually kinder to Steve than the cold of winter for his chest, but he lugs crates around at the docks for money and it's sure not pleasant in these temperatures. It'll be worth picking up those extra hours, worth all the sweat, when he gets to give Steve his birthday present.

Oh, sure, he'll probably get yelled at a bit. They can't really afford presents, they'd agreed on that when last Christmas came around, but he just couldn't let Steve's birthday go unremarked. He doesn't get to do as much for his friend as he'd like; he can't walk down the street with him on his arm and show the world that Steve's his best guy, he can't kiss him where anyone might see. It's just how it is, neither one of them want to end up in jail for the crime of loving someone they weren't supposed to.

So, damn it all, he's going to celebrate this birthday.

He's got the three little parcels concealed in his bag and he's practically jogging home, he doesn't want to miss the start of the fireworks that Steve still believes are just for his birthday. He practically slams in the door of their little tenement.]

Steve? Hey! You here?

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[ With a tiny groan, Steve pushed himself up from the couch to wander into the kitchen area to grab a glass of water. His eyes lingered a little on the ticking lock and he knew any moment Bucky would bustle inside, likely going on and on about the day, which Steve never thought needed a fuss. His Ma never agreed and apparently neither did Bucky. Both were always so keen to make it a day to remember and he never had the heart to tell Bucky to cool it, especially not now. Enduring a little fussing might not be so bad if it made Bucky smile.

He might enjoy it a smidgen but he'd never admit to it.

Deciding to go out on the fire escape to draw, he grabbed for his art supplies and made himself comfortable. He remained there quite happily until he heard Bucky hollering for him. Eyes rolling, he poked his head through the window to make sure Bucky would hear him. ]

Quit your yapping Barnes, I'm out here. [ Grinning, he packed up his supplies and slipped back inside of their bedroom. He appeared in the doorway still with the grin on his face. ]

You look like you ran all the way here. Might think you're gettin' sweet on me, Buck.

Gee, what gave it away?

[He was so glad that he had managed to get Steve to shelve his stupid pride and accept that they should bunk down together for a while, as money was tight, because it meant that they had a safe space to be openly affectionate. Something they never could be in public.

He knew this couldn't last. One day they'd both have to find nice girls and settle down, have families, stop doing this. But maybe they could still live next door to one another. Still, hopefully that was a long time off yet.

Bucky grinned right back and leaned in as if he were going to kiss Steve, but instead grabbed him in a headlock and started to noogie him.]

Quit your yapping? Is that any way to talk to the guy that's just pulled six hours down the docks? I had presents for you, but now I might not bother since you've got so grumpy in your old age.

[ The grin remained on his face until Bucky decided a headlock would be an enjoying way to start their evening together. Yelping, he tried to weasel out of it, especially because in the current position he couldn't glare at Bucky at all. Talk about losing access to his greatest skill. ]

Let go, you jerk. [ He gave a huff, only softening a little at the six hours comment. The amount of time Bucky needed to be in at the docks always made him feel guilty and he really wished there were more things he could do to help. Not many wanted to even give him a chance, sadly.

Sometimes, there felt like a time limit on them being together and Steve felt like ticking down inside of his heart. ]

Ya didn't need to get me anythin', Buck. Told ya that before.

Yeah, I know that, but you tell me a lot of dumb things that I have to ignore.

[He finally lets go of Steve and steps back a bit, trying to suppress how excited he is for this. He's been waiting literal months for this, ever since December of last year when he first got the idea and picked up extra shifts at times when Steve might not notice him gone.

It's been a lot of work and a lot of saving, but the day is finally here.]

C'mon, already, sit down so I can give 'em to you.

[ Rather than respond, he only rolled his eyes, feeling a little burst of excitement despite his words. Birthdays were one of the rare occurrences where he lessened his resolve against fussing, allowing Bucky a little more leeway. Bucky tended to do it regardless but things were just easier around birthdays and some holidays.

Steve and difficult went hand and hand.

Sit down? ]

Is this one of those presents you'd see people givin' on the other side of the docks? [ There were plenty of hidden locations where people 'enjoyed' things that they couldn't in more broad daylight.

But when with the lip, he sat down, looking up at Bucky through his eyelashes. ]

[Bucky snorts, amused, and gives Steve a light thwap around the back of the head for being so crude. It's amazing how many people always thought Steve was some kind of saint, it was the skinny body, and that Bucky was the bad influence of the two. Nobody knew the truth but him.]

Maybe later, if you play your cards right.

[He smirks, and then hands over two roughly wrapped presents. They're only wrapped in newspaper and string, but he spent every last dime he had on the gifts themselves. Inside the first one is a box of expensive drawing pencils, and inside the second is a brochure for the art school in Manhattan.]

I paid up the whole semester just this morning.

[ It also helped Steve still had such a baby face and most people knew of the whole Catholic nature. A good, decent boy like that would never dream of such deviant and crude things. It just worked well for him and it amused him to see Bucky's reactions. ]

I always play ya right, baby. [ The words were a sing song but he dropped some of the teasing when the presents were in his hands. He gazed at the newspapers for a moment before he ripped into them. Then, all the air but left his lungs, especially as Bucky explained.

For the first time in his life, he felt absolutely speechless and without a word, he yanked for Bucky to bring him close and give him one of the most passionate kisses possible. ]

You great big lug why would you do that. [ Steve whispered against his lips, kissing him firmly again. When he felt breathless for another reason, he backed off, his eyes now a little watery but he'd blame allergies. ]

This - Buck - thank you. Don't think I'm good enough for all these fancy pencils but - I love you.

[This... this right here is why he slaved at the docks as many extra hours as he could. Every muscle ache, every early morning, it was all worth it for this reaction. He grinned into the kiss and wound his arms around Steve's slender waist; other people, idiot people, might think that Steve was too skinny but he always felt just right when Bucky held him.]

You've gotta have fancy pencils if you're gonna impress them, Steve, and you've gotta do that. It's only one semester paid, but you can get one of them fancy scholarships if you work hard. This is your chance, Steve.

[He's always known Steve should be an artist, it just didn't feel like there was the breaks there to let him do it.]

And don't get kicked out for fighting.

[ In so many ways, Steve never felt worthy of having someone as compassionate and understanding as Bucky Barnes in his life. Not just as a friend but as something more, which he knew eventually would end. Bucky would find himself better and have the sort of life he dreamed about for himself. Married with kids and a more respectable job. Things Steve never really envisioned for himself at all.

Gazing down at the pencils, he wiped at his eyes, discreetly. ]

Lot of faith you got in me, Buck. [ A rare warm smile filled his face. ]

Don't know what you're talkin' 'bout. I never start fights. I just finish 'em. [ Not entirely correct but he preferred to think he managed to finish off the thugs and bullies. ]

[ Tapping the pencils, he looked at Bucky intently. ] Yes, I think I need to break these pencils in, dontcha think?

[Idiot.

As if anyone who had ever seen him draw wouldn't have faith in him, Steve is a goddamn genius and he just knows that this is the start of something good for him. Perhaps selfishly, he also hopes that this career will put him off trying to do something stupid like enlist in the memory of his old man or something.]

Steve, you've started more fights than I ever have, and I'm a boxer.

[He flops back onto the lumpy sofa they rescued from Mrs. Sherman's apartment after she got a new one, and strikes a dumb pose.]

Go on then, Raphael, draw me.

[ Steve waved the words off with a sweeping gesture of his hand. The others made him start the fights because of comments or general attitudes. He couldn't just let others get away with tormenting those around him. Sometimes, a person just needed one other to help them out. ]

Somethin' ya said you'd show me. [ That determined glint filled his eyes at the mere thought of it. ] Holdin' out on me, Barnes.

[ Chuckling, he moved a chair to situate it in front of the couch, grabbing for the fancy pencils and his sketchpad to place on his lap. ]

Now that's attractive. Hold still, Buck. If ya think you can do that.

You're kidding, right? Staying still isn't really my strong suit.

[He'd never been good at it, always forgetting that he's meant to be posing and ending up fidgeting or wandering off or just changing position entirely. Not to mention this pose, though funny, isn't particularly comfortable.

He wriggles himself around to something more comfortable and rakishly pushes a hand down his pants, pupils large and dark.]

How about we see how long you can keep drawin' while I'm doing this?

[ Flipping open the sketchpad, he ran one of the pencils across it just to have a feel for it. The pressure and the like. He also enjoyed seeing the mark it left across the top of the page. Beautiful. It would look even better with Bucky's form draped across it.

Eyes moving upwards, he felt his breath hitch a little in his throat. Well, then, such a card. ]

Let's see how long you can keep doin' that and not come while I draw ya. [ Did Bucky really want to challenge HIM to anything? Steve had steel like focus when he felt determined enough to finish something. ]

[Bucky has a streak of stubbornness of his own, and now he's got Steve all fired up with the challenge he's determined not to lose. His grin turns lazy and he begins to stroke himself very deliberately.]

Take your time, Steve, I can do this all day, especially with such a view to look at.

[How Steve isn't swarmed by people he doesn't know, the man does sinful things to Bucky without any effort.]

So much charm, no wonder ya won my gaze. [ The tease felt fonder than he intended but he could never really help himself when it came to Bucky. The man invoked all kinds of emotions in him and all far too easily. ]

[ Starting on the general outline, Steve worked the pencil over the page in clean lines, following back with shading to add more dimension. ]

Remember not to come, Buck. [ While they were both stubborn in their own ways, Steve knew eventually Bucky would want more and then he'd win their little challenge. ]

How long can one drawing take, Steve? I've got this.

[He's going as slow and leisurely as he can, though it is quite hard (in more than one way) after even only a few minutes. He wants to go faster, he wants to drive towards bliss and turn the tingling into flame. It's almost frustrating going this slowly.]

[ Only flashing a bright smile, Steve continued working on the outline, slowly filling in with details and shading. Each and every scrap of the new pencils felt like a spark of possibility. To think Bucky slaved so long and hard for him. ]

You'd be surprised, Barnes, it takes awhile to capture your mug on paper.

Unless you want to admit defeat already.

Are you kidding me? I could do this all day.

[The light of battle in his eyes is partially obscured by desire, and kind of undermined by the way a thin sheen of sweat is already over his body. But he's determined not to lose this.

He makes himself keep his movements even slower, deliberately thinking about some really unsexy things to try and keep this going.]

[ Well, then, Bucky wanted to play ball and Steve felt more than happy to help him out. Continuing to scrap the pencil across the paper, a smirk twisted at his lips. ]

I can't stop thinkin' 'bout runnin' my lips all over your skin right now, Buck. I love the way you taste. [ While 'dirty talk' still gave him a little trouble, he enjoyed winning far more than to feel too awkward about it. ]

[Bucky's eyes darkened to the point where it was hard to tell where pupil began and iris ended.]

You're a goddamn little punk, Steve. All those old women thinkin' you're sweet as pie, and you're the biggest jerk of the lot.

[ Snickering, Steve made his eyes wide with 'innocence' as if he had no idea what Bucky could be referring to. He also finished with the outline and shading of Bucky's body. ]

I am sweet. Don't ya remember how I taste, Buck?

[ He could not help with always pushing at Bucky. ]

You're killin' me, pal.

[It comes out in a strangled sort of groan, his hips bucking up towards his hand and he only manages to stave off his orgasm through sheer will alone, though it's obviously so close.]

[ The sheer need in Bucky's voice rolled over him and he felt tempted to throw in the towel and finish the sketch later. But nudity could be very classy and alluring if done correctly.

His hand moved a little quicker on the page. ]

Don't come, Buck. I mean it. That'll change this entire sketch. Hold still. I'm almost done and then you'll come multiple times.

[He turns eyes that have gone so dark with desire they're almost black up to look at Steve, sweat rolling down his face from the effort.]

I wanna come in you, Steve, until you're so wrecked you can't remember your own damn name.

[ The words were a pure heat spreading through him and nearly made him want to forget about the sketching. Also, forget about their challenge. When he looked at Bucky' s eyes, he forgot everything else. ]

Damn. [ Dropping the sketchpad and pencils, he walked over to kiss Bucky hard and rough, crawling onto him. ]

[Did he win? He can't tell from here if the sketch is incomplete or not, but he finds that he really doesn't care when he feels the weight of Steve on top of him. Literally nothing else matters, he's already so hard that it's nearly painful.]

Pants. Steve, take 'em off.

[He doesn't have time to be romantic right now, that'll have to come later.]

[ It had been a long time since he had seen Bucky so worked up because usually they did not have time to draw things out. Actually, they barely had time for stray kisses lately and now Steve knew why. How would he ever make it up to Bucky?

Groaning low in his throat, he wiggled around on purpose to pull his pants and underwear off to drop them onto the ground. With another groan, he leaned over to kiss Bucky passionately and messy. It felt like so long ago with how uncomfortable he used to feel with his body and being intimate but Bucky made him feel desirable. Bucky made him feel wanted.

Running his lips over Bucky's neck, he bit down but not hard enough to bruise. ]

[It nearly makes him come right there and then, he's already worked himself right to the very edge just during the drawing session and he doesn't have a whole lot of self control left, he holds on just by the skin of his teeth.]

Steve-- shit.

[His hands come up to smooth over the soft skin of Steve's back, down onto his ass, and then back up onto his hips to almost forcefully move him so that he can start grinding up against him properly.]

You don't know what you do to me.

[ Happy birthday to him, indeed. With a choked off groan, he moved against Bucky, chasing the heat and pleasure he always felt with the man. It seemed to deepen all the time and he knew without a doubt he would never love anyone else the way he did with Bucky. And as wonderful as that felt, it also held a twinge of sadness because it wouldn't last. Eventually, Bucky would leave and find someone else to be with and love.

So he wanted to .bw memorable and make sure Bucky never forgot their time together.

Kissing along Bucky's neck, he groaned again. ]

Got an idea but show me, Buck. Come on.

[Bucky knows that one day they'll both have to find a nice dame to settle down with, but maybe they can still live side by side and raise their kids all in one big happy family. It won't be ideal, but that's the way the world works. Their love isn't supposed to be allowed, and he'll settle for just having Steve around as his best friend one day.

That day isn't yet.

He tumbles Steve backwards so that he can lay him out and wriggle down between his legs, holding them open with a cheeky and confident grin.]

Show you? Sure thing, Steve.

[And then he's all of a sudden pressing his tongue to Steve's asshole, giving as much devotion to this as he ever did to his prayers in the church on a Sunday.]

[ How could love that felt so right be considered so wrong? Illegal and outlawed, in fact, but they were always so careful with being with each other and in public they appeared as any two friends would. Bucky even learned plenty of extra points for taking care of someone so sickly and damaged. He know how people spoke of him and many found him a waste of space and resources. Their society was not kind to the disabled to say the least.

What would he ever do without Bucky?

Grinning up at the man at the change in position, he couldn't hold back the low groan at the feel of Bucky's tongue. Arching up into the motions, one of his hands reached out to grab onto Bucky's shoulder. Damn. ]

So good, Buck. Somethin' better to do with that mouth of yours.

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For Steve

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i should never try to reply from email ugh.

<3

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