advanced | For Will Graham

I'm an adult, James. [ Will said, his words firm but not combative. ] And I can make my own decisions about what I feel is right, or not right.

[ These situations were always a delicate balance, where part of Will wanted to point out that interacting with dangerous personalities was something he was drawn too. His body bore the scars of the trail of his empathy.

But he was careful never to turn the lens in that direction. These instances, and moving through them -whether it was a step forward or two steps back- were about James. And Will was focused on helping his friend. ]

You're here because I want you here and because, I hope, you want to be here.

You're a goddamn idiot, is what you are.

[It bursts out of him and he takes a very deliberate step back towards the window, even though he obviously doesn't actually want to leave.]

You've told me yourself, and I've seen it, you're drawn to dangerous people. You're gonna let me destroy you one of these days.

[ There was a tense moment, where Will looked less than pleased at being called an idiot. But after a breath, the tension left his body and he gave a sad sort of chuckle. ]

You wouldn't be the first to accuse me of such, and worse.

[ There was a reason why Will was just as anti-social as James, and there was a part of him that was resigned to the fact that his life was one that was meant to be lived alone. Maybe it wasn't Will who needed to run far away, but rather James.

Turning to start cleaning up the mess around the bed and ... yeah need to strip those sheets -a couple of blood drops had stained them- Will took his gaze off James, deliberately removing that source of pressure. ]

You wouldn't be the first person who has tried to destroy me, so far I've weathered the storms. At least you can have the comfort of knowing that I do this with my eyes wide open, rather than through some misguided arrogance of invulnerability.

[Will was sensible. Steve, in these situations, tended to spout nonsense like Bucky could never hurt him, or he trusted him, or other such idiotic but comforting things. Will understood that the threat was real and didn't undermine it, it made it easier to spend time around him.]

But unlike the other people who tried to destroy you, I don't want to.

[The admission is low and careful.]

Destroying you would destroy me too.

[ James had a fair point there and after a beat, Will conceded it with a small duck of his head.

He had the bed stripped down and he bundled the sheets into a ball, which he deposited over by the doorway before turning and walking back towards the other man. Once again, Will was cautious in how close he came, but he also -quite deliberately- placed himself within reach. ]

What's the answer then? [ He asked, his tone genuinely curious. ] Put me in the china cupboard and leave me to collect dust? Sounds like a lonely existence, both for you and for me.

[He knows what the right answer is. He should walk away, he should make sure that he doesn't send them both down a destructive path, but that's not fair. He doesn't want to walk away, he doesn't want to spend his whole life in isolation, he should be able to find a way to be safe to the people he loves and free.

There's a frozen moment, before he just takes a step forwards and winds his arms around Will. He's always deliberately careful to keep his grip loose, always overly aware of his own strength.]

I hate you sometimes, you know that?

[It's not said with any bite at all, more fondness than anything.]

[ Will was well aware that this moment could go either way. James had walked away from him countless other times and the ex-profiler didn't fool himself into believing that if his friend really intended to walk away, he wouldn't be out that window in a blink.

It was one of the risks of ... this ... whatever it was growing between them. That one day James was going to set his mind to running and he'd be gone before Will could blink. But with risk came reward and as his friend gathered him close, Will went willingly into the embrace.

He was gently amused at how careful James was, though Will was in no way shy in the wrap of his own arms in return. Firm, perhaps surprisingly strong given his small frame, he didn't cling but he did make sure his friend could feel the welcome and want (not sexual, just yet, rather I like hugging you) in his own hold.

If James really stopped to think about how Will discreetly went out of his way to avoid even the most casual of contact from strangers, then hopefully this hug would carry even more weight.

Laying his head against James' shoulder, Will chuckled at the words. ]

I get that alot.

[Perhaps it's because Will is so tentative about these sorts of relationships too that makes this one work, because Bucky is equally floored by the weight of what's being given in return. He knows how long it took for either of them to become comfortable with just the lightest touch, and now they were embracing.

He snorts lightly, leaving his flesh arm around Will while letting his other drop to his side.]

Then maybe you shouldn't be such a stubborn punk, huh?

[ He understood why James went with the one armed hug and to express that understanding, Will leaned into it, settling himself in the crook of James' hold. The comment earned the other man a wry chuckle and the ex-profiler leaned back so he could look into his face.

Appearing to give it some thought, he shook his head and offered up that rare, genuine grin. ]

No, no I don't think so.

[ At least he was honest?

The grin morphed into the even rarer smile and Will rocked up on his toes slightly (three inch height difference was still three inch height difference) to press a warm kiss against James' cheek. ]

[It was always good to see Will smile, it didn't happen often and usually there was still some reservations behind it when it did. This, though, this was beautiful because of its rarity but also because he was the one who helped put it there. It set the last bit of tension seeping out of his own shoulders in return.]

You couldn't even try? Just a bit?

[He doesn't want Will to change, but this teasing is easier than what came before.]

You might not have to deal with so many homeless guys breaking in if you were less like this.

[ Leaning back, Will made a production out of studying James face. It relaxed him as some of tension left his friend's body and he was more than happy to let the conversation move to more teasing ground. ]

I think I'd find myself lonesome indeed if I lost that. [ He pointed out, bringing one arm back around so he could lift his hand and palm the side of James' face, briefly caressing the stubble.

It was a bit of a surprise to Will himself, how he'd come to appreciate these late nights/early mornings, when James made his way in through the window. For so long the ex-profiler had been content to live on his own, never really aware of any sense of loneliness. He valued his solitude, for the most part, but now could recognize that he also valued the opportunity to share it with James.

Lowering his hand, he moved to lean back intending to step away. ]

Come on. You can finish getting cleaned up, I'll open a can of soup and heat us up a bit of food.

[These light touches, something that might not mean much to most people and seem entirely too innocent for the depth of the friendship they had now, always hit him hard. He'd remember the feel of Will's fingers along his jaw for days, the exact pressure and the warmth of his skin a reminder that he has good things in his life.]

Maybe in a minute, I didn't actually come here just to get stitched up.

[That was just a bonus.

He lets Will step back as soon as he moves to do so, even if he could easily keep him in place if he wanted to. Both of them have boundaries and personal space that's much more fiercely protected than most people do.]

I have something to show you out in the city.

[ The latter statement saw Will pause and turn back to his friend, one eyebrow raising. ]

Do I need to put my gun back together? [ It was a genuine question, because sometimes James took him out to see an interesting sight, or simply to enjoy a newly discovered place of peace and quiet.

And sometimes James took him out on a small monster wrangling adventure. Will had noted that James didn't take him out against anything particularly dangerous -a fact that he found vaguely amusing- but sometimes it was good to have a second gun around.

His response was also a ready agreement. No matter how late the hour or what he was up too, when James came by with these invitations Will never turned them down. The opportunities they afforded, to be invited into that personal boundary, was too precious to deny. ]

No.

[Its not often that Bucky takes Will out with him somewhere, just occasionally when he feels an odd need for companionship that won't judge him and won't get in the way. Strange how often that turns out to be Will.]

You might need some thin rope, but you don't really need anything.

[He could head out of the door, but he prefers to use the window. Too many people can see him leaving and entering through the main doorways of buildings and the sniper in him won't let him put himself in that sort of vulnerable position. So he goes to perch on the windowsill, waiting until Will is ready to join him.]

[ Thin rope?

Alright, that had him curious. ]

Give me a minute to find my shoes.

[ It took a little over a minute for Will to secure his front door -he'd just go out the window as well- and set about getting himself pulled together for an outing. Shoes, a light jacket and lo and behold, the suggested rope!

Will shut off all the lights except the one lamp at his bedside and then crossed over to the window. ]

That windowsill isn't going to fit the two of us. [ He said; his way of letting James know he was ready to follow. Lead the way! ]

[That's enough of a hint to have him jumping down, silent and graceful. He only waits long enough for Will to make it to the ground beside him before he sets off through the darkened streets.

It's easy enough to avoid the main thoroughfares where the clubs are still brightly lit and people mingle in a heaving mass of sweat and alcohol, his world consists of the alleyways and backstreets, the rooftops and even the sewers on occasion. This time he doesn't lead Will too far from his home, just to an alley behind a closed shop.]

Go on. There's someone down there who I think you are best qualified to help.

[ Will followed along, and if he did not move with nearly as much grace, he at least managed to cover the ground quietly. As far as he was concerned any paths that avoided the crush of hormone laden humanity pouring out of the clubs at this time of night was a good thing and he expected that James was leading him towards the edges of the city.

So it came as a surprise when they stopped at the mouth of a particularly dark alley.

For a moment he looked confused, but before he opened his mouth to ask he heard it; a soft canine whine from somewhere in the shadows. Will blinked and looked back to James for confirmation. ]

[It's a confirmation he gets with a slight nod. Once he'd found the stray dog, there was only one person he could think of to go to, given all that Will had told him about his veritable pack of them back home.

This one is a mongrel, though there's definitely collie in it somewhere. It's too thin and it snarls when anyone comes close, scared and injured, one of its legs obviously broken.]

[ At the confirming nod, Will heads down into the shadows, talking softly. It's not the voice he's used with James, when at times James has been on the edge. James is not a canine after all, so he receives the low toned, calm voice.

This one is a bit more high in pitch, friendly and soft and as Will gets close he hunkers down on his heels so as not to loom over the frightened creature. Usually he'd have a bit of hot dog or a treat of some sort to offer, nothing like food to make friends, but he doesn't at the moment and he's worried about trying to leave to get something, least the injured dog run off further on that bad leg.

So -sorry James- but they were in for something of a long haul as Will used his voice and body language to calm the situation and then simply patiences until the dog settled. It was probably about two hours worth of talking and waiting, before Will was able to get his arms around the filthy creature and lift her up into a gentle cradle hold.

He wouldn't have blamed his friend for having moved on. Will knew it was difficult for James to stay in one location for any appreciable length of time. ]

[He has moved on.

Not far, but definitely out of sight. He's shifted to a spot up high where he can watch both the alleyway where Will is dealing with the dog, and the surrounding areas so that he can intercept any threat that might appear before it can actually reach Will. Nothing comes, though.

He stays out of sight, though he tails Will home until he's sure that both he and the dog are safely back inside, and then he slips away again.

It's another week before he shows up at the window again, crouching on the windowsill and peering in late at night to see if Will is awake.]

[ He was awake.

Tonight he had actually been attempting sleep, only to be woken by the nightmares. Actually he hadn't been woken by the nightmares. He'd been woken by a cold worried nose, and soft whining that came as he'd stood outside the little house, ready to walk off into who knows what area of the city.

So he was sitting in a t-shirt and boxers, wrapped in a blanket from his bed. His hair was damp from sweat, the curls plastered down against his forehead. He was drinking from a glass with one hand, the other rubbing approvingly on the little collie mix who sat worriedly at his feet with her muzzle on his knee.

It was the dog who picked up on James' presence first and her reaction was immediate. Turning away from Will, she padded to a point about halfway between Will and the window, hackles coming up as she bared her teeth and flattened her normally pert ears.

She didn't bark. Dogs who meant business didn't bark, unless they were alarmed. This little girl wasn't alarmed, she was prepared.

Her actions earned a bemused blink from Will, before his foggy head caught up with window and he moved to lever himself out of the chair. Coming up beside the dog, he kneeled down and gently soothed her with pets and reassurance, waiting until she sat at his command before he called out.

"Come in, James. It's alright."

[He's not scared by the growling of a dog. It's probably not the right sort of thought to have, but he knows that he could take down one attacking animal if it became necessary and he wouldn't even break a sweat doing it. Will might not talk to him again, though, if he punches his new dog.

So he waits until he gets the all clear before he slides the window open and drops neatly inside, keeping his distance from the dog.]

You're up late.

[ Will would genuinely appreciate it if James and Lady could get along. Yes, he named the dog Lady; Will was not always overly creative when it came to his dogs' names. ]

I was asleep, until my subconscious decided to try to take my body on a nocturnal stroll. [ The words might sound more than a bit bitter, and Will looked down at the dog, rather than at James' face when he explained what happened.

Sleepwalking, and all that came with it, was still a subject Will tended to be guarded about. Always waiting to have the vulnerability of his unstable mind used against him. ]

Luckily Lady here woke me up before I went too far. Come on over, let's try a proper introduction so I don't have to worry about you two in the future.

[ AKA, please don't hurt my dog. ]

[Even though Bucky worries about Will's sleepwalking, it's not a topic that he's broached many times because he knows how much it disturbs the other man. Usually they try and avoid stepping on each others' big red pressure buttons, but sometimes that can't be avoided.]

You know what set it off?

[The question is quiet, almost apologetic for having to bring it up. But he's come to care, and that brings with it the inconvenience of questions like this.

He does, however, move forwards and crouch down in front of the dog at the same time, willing to be introduced properly.]

[ There is a wariness in Lady's eyes as she watches James approach, though she remains calm under Will's gentle petting. It is the deep wariness of an intelligent dog who has been badly abused during her life, but also one who wants to regain trust in someone.

As they crouch there, Will reaches out a gentle hand and sets in on James' knee, letting Lady use his arm as a bridge, sniffing her way to get the other man's scent.

Doing this also has the added benefit of allowing Will to keep his head ducked, avoiding eye contact. James is someone he usually maintains eye contact with under normal circumstances, but tonight even the contact with a friend is too much on raw nerves. ]

I don't need a triggering event, James. You know that. [ He said in a quiet tone. ]

My mind can savage itself on general principal.

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