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For Tony Stark
[He's been on the run for what feels like decades, but is really only a few months. He knows he's doing a good job at being hidden because ever since the helicarriers fell out of the air there hasn't been a single confirmed sighting of him, and he knows that Steve is looking. Not just Steve, either. He's just not ready to be found yet.
The easiest way to move between countries, he's found, is by stowing away on private chartered flights. They're usually less attended than commercial flights, and if he can get on board then it's fairly easy to avoid the one or two passengers and crew. He has no idea that the flight he's stowed away on is Tony Stark's private jet, and that it's only Tony himself on board.
At least not until he hears a disembodied voice speaking throughout the plane once they're in the air. It's JARVIS, not that he has any idea who that is.]
Sir, scans of the plane show that there's a man crouching in your cargo hold. I wasn't aware you were transporting any men today.
The easiest way to move between countries, he's found, is by stowing away on private chartered flights. They're usually less attended than commercial flights, and if he can get on board then it's fairly easy to avoid the one or two passengers and crew. He has no idea that the flight he's stowed away on is Tony Stark's private jet, and that it's only Tony himself on board.
At least not until he hears a disembodied voice speaking throughout the plane once they're in the air. It's JARVIS, not that he has any idea who that is.]
Sir, scans of the plane show that there's a man crouching in your cargo hold. I wasn't aware you were transporting any men today.
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[ Since he's already promised that he won't tell Steve. Tony is actually intending to hold to that. For now. ]
What do you care, anyway? You're still hiding.
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[He has no shame at all about spying on the Avengers.]
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[ Though if it means he has an interest, maybe he won't go quite as far to ground. It's probably a good thing, even if Tony's thinking more for his sake than for Steve's at the moment. Barnes is apparently plenty damn amusing on his own, and Tony's kind of appreciating his take not shit attitude. When it's not directed at him, anyway. ]
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[The question is asked with a tiny ring of genuine curiosity to it. He's lost so much of what it means to be human and is only getting it piecemeal, and he's never really thought of his surveillance in any other terms than survival before. Is it creepy? Does that matter?]
Guess a lot of people would say that I'm creepy anyway.
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[ Not that Tony Stark is an expert on social graces. But he at least knows the rules he's breaking. ]
Step one is probably to get a haircut.
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[Maybe he will one day, that would be nice.]
I don't socialise, and it's better if people don't get too close usually, so maybe it's a good thing.
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[ He doesn't sound all that upset about it, really. Hard to have a problem with someone saving your ass. Even if Tony totally had it covered. ]
You're not doing to badly at the socializing thing anyway.
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[But it's oddly nice to hear, and he's warming to the concept of company much more than he thought he would.]
Besides, following someone isn't the same, that's just surveillance or protection detail.
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[ Sometimes, anyway. But that's not the point. His eyes flick towards Bucky like he's registered that small break in his armor. And it's never really a good idea to encourage him. ]
Still means you're getting close to someone, technically. And here we are!
[ He gestures around them with excessive cheer. ]
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You're not charming, you're rich, and people'll think anything is charming for enough money.
[He's not intending to be overly cruel, mostly because he thinks that's a fairly obvious truth.]
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[ Tony might start to feel offended in a moment. Not that he's expecting everyone to flatter him at all times, but jesus. ]
But fine, call it what you want. Where are we going again?
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[He'd rather that Stark didn't know the exact location of one of his safe houses, but that can't be avoided with the amount of tech the man has at his disposal, he'll be able to pinpoint his own location with GPS in a microsecond.]
Where we can figure out if it'll be too dangerous to even attend this meeting, or if you should just go home.
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Okay fine, have your secrets.
[ Honestly, Tony's oddly entertained by the whole thing. He doesn't often manage anything like secrecy or stealth, for obvious reasons. Having it done for him for something thats not quite a kidnapping is more interesting than it really should be. ]
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It takes almost a full hour for them to reach his safe house. Partly because he drives a convoluted route to make sure they're not being tailed, and partly because he insists on dumping the car over a mile away and taking to the warren of back streets and alleys.
Eventually he lets Stark into what looks like a bookshop. The shelves are still stocked and everything looks well maintained, but the only clue of what might have happened to keep it closed and currently empty is a faint smell of bleach in the air.]
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You know, if you were just luring me somewhere creepy to kill me, we could have saved a whole lot of time.
[ There's no actual bite to the comment, though, and Tony's already wandering closer to peer at the shelves. ]
So now what?
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[He moves to the back of the shop and opens a door, through which the smell of blood becomes sharp and a head with a bullet wound right in the middle of the forehead can be seen on the floor. Bucky ignores it, stepping over the corpse to pick up a duffel on the side and then return to the main room.]
Now we monitor the situation, work out if I get you into the meeting or extract you from the country.
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[ He turns to call after him, then goes completely still at the sight of the corpse in the other room. And Tony keeps staring even as Barnes reappears. ]
Did you -- did you seriously bring me to a safe house with a corpse in it? What about the term 'safe house' is it that eludes you, exactly?
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It's safe in here, a corpse can't hurt you. It's dead.
[Obviously.]
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[ He trails off, staring. ]
Are you purposefully missing the point or what?
[ And then, just to be sure Bucky gets it, Tony folds his arms and makes sure to enunciate clearly. ]
Why is there a corpse here?
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[He doesn't see the problem with this.]
It's a HYDRA safehouse, but he was the only one manning it. He didn't get a chance to send off an alarm, relax.
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And you couldn't have at least gotten rid of the body? I hate to be the one to tell you this, but they don't smell great after a while.
[ The fact that they're sitting in a Hydra facility, that Tony's going to have to deal with later. ]
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[Something ever so slightly darkly satisfied flickers across his face.]
I'd like them to see that I'm keeping my skills sharp.
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Great. I'm stuck an in enclosed space with an angry housecat.
[ He spins to get a look at the whole place, still irked, then turns to shoot Bucky a glance out of the corners of his eyes. ]
So what is the plan, then?
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...I don't know.
[He very nearly sounds forlorn about it.]
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Right. Fine. Do you have some kind of line to the outside world?
[ First step: find out if anyone is still looking for him. ]
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