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For Steve
[It's been fourteen months, six weeks, and four days since the Soldier pulled Steve from the Potomac and ran from everything he had ever known. Since he had begun to realise which parts of the world he'd been fed were lies, but hadn't quite managed to pin down which were truths. He knows that Steve has been looking for him. Not just him, but his friends too, most of the Avengers have been roped into Steve's unceasing search.
They never find anything.
He's too good, he knows how to hide. He's seen them - Iron Man once, Falcon four times, Steve twice - but they've never seen him. He's a ghost, just rumours that dry up on the wind. He's not too sure if he wants to remain this way for the rest of his life, he knows he's not ready for anything else, and this feels almost comforting. Anonymous. But something in him has pulled him back to America. He hears on the news what's been happening with the Avengers, he sees that there's a new 'compound' that they're using as a base, though none of the news channels know where it is.
It doesn't matter, he finds it.
There's security systems, of course, but he bypasses them all. He slips close enough past Falcon that he can smell the aftershave he used, but he isn't noticed. He finds Steve's room, easy to tell it's his because of the shield inside the door and the way that the whole place is military precision. Not a habit easy to break even once the army is done with you. He isn't even sure why he's here, just that he's following the instincts of his mind at the moment.
He takes a seat on Steve's bed, cross legged, and he waits.]
They never find anything.
He's too good, he knows how to hide. He's seen them - Iron Man once, Falcon four times, Steve twice - but they've never seen him. He's a ghost, just rumours that dry up on the wind. He's not too sure if he wants to remain this way for the rest of his life, he knows he's not ready for anything else, and this feels almost comforting. Anonymous. But something in him has pulled him back to America. He hears on the news what's been happening with the Avengers, he sees that there's a new 'compound' that they're using as a base, though none of the news channels know where it is.
It doesn't matter, he finds it.
There's security systems, of course, but he bypasses them all. He slips close enough past Falcon that he can smell the aftershave he used, but he isn't noticed. He finds Steve's room, easy to tell it's his because of the shield inside the door and the way that the whole place is military precision. Not a habit easy to break even once the army is done with you. He isn't even sure why he's here, just that he's following the instincts of his mind at the moment.
He takes a seat on Steve's bed, cross legged, and he waits.]
no subject
Bucky doesn't actually take a damn drink, and Steve's about to push him about it, but then...
Oh.
Oh, heck.
"That's... horribly cruel," Steve says at last, feeling incredibly inadequate. It's beyond cruel. The way Bucky's been manipulated. Used. He's drinking Bucky in with his eyes, half of him assessing Bucky as a potential threat (not to be killed, to be taken down if necessary and cared for) and half of him with the biggest, soppiest heart eyes he's had in decades.
Steve laughs a short pained choked kind of laugh, and nods. "Both, I'm afraid. I... I guess you didn't take all the stupid with you, when I thought you died. I went down. Got frozen. Got thawed."
no subject
He doesn't say as much.
Instead, he just nods and finally moves. His legs uncurl and he shifts off the bed, leaving a smear of stained red on the neatly made covers, and crosses over to stand within arm's reach of Steve.
"You didn't fight when I fought you either, do you want to die?"