IC Inbox

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This is the IC inbox for Bucky Barnes at Snowblind.

Network name: @bucky; formerly @j, @username, and @robertsmith

This is the place to contact Bucky over the Network. Contact by voice, text, or video is all perfectly acceptable, and there is no need to plot with me prior to posting in this inbox.

Any contact for @j following day 125, @username following day 190, or @robertsmith following day 224 will be met with the following message: USER NOT FOUND.

Comments

@Peterthegreat, audio, Night 310

[zunesareawesome]

Hey. Uh. You got a minute?

text;

[advanced]

What do you want?

Audio 4ever

[zunesareawesome]

Look, I...was wondering if you remembered the stuff. The dream stuff that happened a little while back.

text forever;

[advanced]

I do.

[zunesareawesome]

[Damn.]

So...uh. Yeah. That.

[This was so awkward.]

That happened.

[advanced]

What do you want?!

[zunesareawesome]

Okay! Okay, jeez. I was just trying to see if uh. Things were cool again between us but I guess not!

Are you really that adverse to killing? I mean, even to save a planet!?

[advanced]

You don't remember my dream?

[This guy is someone Bucky would have been happy never speaking to again.]

If you do, don't you think that's a dumb question?

[zunesareawesome]

I do, but like--I mean, it was scary, not gonna lie, if that was in any way literal at all, I'm like--dude, wow--but seriously, this is a planet we're talking about. Innocent people. There was only one way to stop Ronan.

[advanced]

Maybe, and if you'd told me then maybe I would have gone with it. But you used me without giving me a choice. Again.

I don't care about your justifications.

[zunesareawesome]

I...

...I'm sorry what happened to you, I really am.

But...it's not like I had a choice! That's just how the stone worked!

[advanced]

You had a choice.

You could shout instructions to me, you could tell me what was about to happen.

[zunesareawesome]

...I was in a hurry!

[Wel, Bucky did have him there.]

Would that really have mattered?

[advanced]

[Is he really an idiot enough to ask that question?]

Choice always matters. You used me, like you did for information, and no amount of justification makes it right when you also had the choice to tell me, or back off, or explain, and you just didn't.

You're like them. Your cause matters so much, that it's justified, right?

[zunesareawesome]

N-no! I'm not like them!

[The dream. Peter felt a chill run down his spine.]

I'm not. I was in a hurry and if you were gonna help out anyway I was just saving time! And the information--I had to, you saw what the infinity stones do, you had to have felt it--you saw the destruction!

[advanced]

You didn't have to, you chose to. Nobody forced you, and there was always a time you could inform me, ask me, or stop.

You didn't. So I didn't 'help out', I was used without my permission to do something that I swore I would never do again. You put that blood on my hands, and I didn't get a choice in it.

If you don't understand why that's wrong, then you are like them.

[zunesareawesome]

[Peter balks. No, this was all wrong. He was helping people doing this, why was Bucky having such a hard time...

The chair. Those men.

He wasn't. He wasn't one of them!]

I was trying to help people. You know, save lives? I mean. Yeah, I messed up. I did, and I'm sorry. Those guys were evil and they were doing horrible things. I'm not!

[advanced]

Some of them thought they were saving lives too, saving the whole world.

So what does one guy matter compared to hundreds? Thousands? Isn't that what you were saying, it was selfish of me to care that you had used me, because billions of people were on the line?

But when does it become unacceptable? Do ten people matter? A hundred? And if they matter, what doesn't just one?

[zunesareawesome]

Well they weren't, they were bad guys. So

[That's not a compelling argument and he knows it. He fidgets, tapping at his screen, guiltily reading the words over and over again. He knows he did wrong, but he's trying desperately to convince himself he wasn't like those guys.]

I don't--

[He huffs.]

I mean, I wasn't hurting you, was I? You're okay, right? Those guys were hurting you. I just...kind of...y'know.

[advanced]

They were bad guys.

You're a bad guy, at least to me.

[Does that answer the question of if it hurt him?]

[zunesareawesome]

I'm not!

I mean, I used to be. I guess, if we're going by strict definitions and stuff.

But I'm not a bad guy, bad guy! How can I be a bad guy if I'm trying to protect people!? These are the infinity stones we're talking about! Okay, yeah, I know I should have asked. I get that. But what if you said no? How could you say no?

I didn't mean to...I didn't know how bad you had it. And that was just a dream, okay? My dream, it wasn't real. You didn't actually kill Ronan, it wasn't real. And besides, it's not like we had much of a choice once we were connected, it was either that or we get blown to bits.

[advanced]

Maybe you're a good guy to the people you're trying to protect.

All you've done to me is treat me like the Nazis did. That makes you a bad guy, and no amount of 'but I'm not' is gonna change that. Own up to what you did.

Asshole.

[zunesareawesome]

Okay. Yeah, you're right, I'm an asshole!

[A huff. But he's admitting it, not being sarcastic.]

I did what I had to do but if I had to do it again, I'd...[He wasn't sure. But...]

I saw what they did to you. I don't want to be like them. You're a good dude, I wouldn't want to hurt you. I didn't mean it.

[advanced]

Then don't be like them.

Here's some free advice; even if you hadn't seen what was in my head, what you'd done would have been just as bad. A real good guy, one of the heroes, protects everyone. The individual and the whole.

Now don't contact me again.

[zunesareawesome]

[Peter doesn't say anything for a beat. That's...surprisingly profound, and he's slowly digesting it.

But then--]

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm sorry. [Was it really gonna be like this? He felt the sting of shame, but also he was fairly salty about it, too. A strange, guilty dichotomy.]

I was gonna ask you just...just one more thing, though. The infinity stones on earth. I have to tell my friends about that. I won't tell them about you, unless you say it's okay, but we need to talk about the stones.