[It's hard and firm and ever so slightly jagged at the edges. He can't think about it, he can't let himself feel the terror of losing himself again, because he might not come back from it.]
It's over, I'm fine. And you're the one that's lost a loved one.
[He kind of wants to shake her now, continuing to put the blame for this on her own shoulders, but he settles for scowling at her.]
That's such bullshit.
[Plain and blunt.]
You might not have noticed, but I'm not the most social of people. You and John, you help me feel more like a human and less like a weapon, that's the opposite of messing my life up.
[He reaches over and tries to tweak at her tail. Not a firm tug, he's always careful not to hurt anyone with his stupid strength, but enough to feel it.]
[That seemed like an empty threat, so when he actually does it she starts and squawks. Her reaction is purely out of surprise, leaving her staring at him, baffled.]
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[Yeah, there's no way Bucky is getting away with that.]
You died and lost your memories again! Don't try to downplay that.
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[It's hard and firm and ever so slightly jagged at the edges. He can't think about it, he can't let himself feel the terror of losing himself again, because he might not come back from it.]
It's over, I'm fine. And you're the one that's lost a loved one.
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I shouldn't love someone who is willing to hurt people I care about. I'm not brushing it off and neither should you.
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[It's not said with any measure of blame, more a sadness for her. She should love someone good for her, a good man, not a remorseless killer.]
I'm sorry, I wish it had been anyone but him. I never would've tried to come between you.
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You didn't come between us. I kissed you. I shouldn't have done that.
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[Stop putting blame on yourself, silly fox.]
Have you told anyone else?
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No. I'm not going to tell anyone. This message is big enough without people sticking their noses into it.
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[That's not fair, and only adds to the damage Monty is responsible for.]
I'm not saying tell the world what he did, but someone you trust. Someone who can help take care of you through this.
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I can handle this on my own.
Will John do that for you?
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You're not going to be able to handle this alone, nobody would.
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[She's firm about that, regardless of whether that is true.]
What about you?
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[He's not going to discuss him, stop asking.]
I might not be the best at it, but you need someone who already knows and I guess that's me.
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I'm not putting that burden on you. I've already done enough to fuck up your life.
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That's such bullshit.
[Plain and blunt.]
You might not have noticed, but I'm not the most social of people. You and John, you help me feel more like a human and less like a weapon, that's the opposite of messing my life up.
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I'm happy to hear that, but... I'll try harder, so I don't mess up again.
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[Is she trying to rile him up? Because it's working.]
You didn't mess up, you don't need to try harder, if I have to say it again then I'll pull your tail for being so stubborn.
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You're the one who needs to stop being stubborn. I did mess up. Monty did too, but I'm not completely blameless.
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Want to run that by me again?
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Did you just-??
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[He folds his arms, utterly unrepentant.]
And I'll do it again, every time you're idiot enough to say any of this was your fault.
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Then I'll just think it.
[Because she's pretty sure he'll do it.]
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[This is getting kind of dumb, but he'd rather it be dumb and perhaps get the point across, rather than it stay heavy and painful.]
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You wouldn't.
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Do I look like the kind of guy who makes idle threats?
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[It's the guilt that's keeping her from getting way more offended.]
But I don't think it'll make me change my mind.
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