advanced | For Will Graham

For Will Graham

[Bucky still wasn't entirely sure how it happened.

The two of them had become closer over the months in Quarantine, something about Will's way of approaching a problem from a different angle and always understanding when Bucky needed to flee had helped Bucky feel more and more comfortable with him. Somehow they had developed a friendship, and that's all it was supposed to be for either of them.

Then there was a night, a confusing night with alcohol on Will's part and terrible dreams on Bucky's, and somehow they had ended up in an embrace much more intimate than mere friendship. What they had now would be hard to define, but it was definitely something more, something that had grown into the occasional kiss and a mutual but unspoken understanding of deeper feelings.

It's late at night when Bucky shows up as he always does, unannounced and at random through a window, perching on the windowsill to look in.]

Anyone home?

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[The world really has changed since he was a kid. It's not a bad thing, there is good everywhere when it means people have more choice in what to do with their lives, but it's so weird to him.]

Less minimal than me. I haven't ever--

[He cuts off with a grunt as the forceps pull out the bullet, the sudden tug on his flesh a sharp sting that washes through him like a wave. It's strong, the riptide pulling at him to give in and go under, to not feel, to do what he's been trained to do.

But he resists.

God help him, he actually manages to resist, and that's a big deal to him, especially considering this is Will by his side.]

[ Will paused.

Not long, he had no desire to draw any of this out, but long enough to watch James from under his lashes and also to give the man a minute to work through it. He kept talking though, lips curling at the edges. ]

Not even a mutual handjob while out in the field?

[ He understood that James came from a different time. Will also knew that soldiers often shared stress relief and with little more involved than the benefit of scratching a mutual itch. ]

No.

[The reply is curt and snapped out, as he tugs to try and get free now that it's done. It doesn't matter that he asked to be restrained, it's becoming less and less something that he's okay with.]

Get them off. Will, get me out of these.

[Or he will pull his own way out of them.]

[ Will didn't need to be told twice and he didn't continue to try and speak. His focus and attention going, instead, to getting the key in the lock and the cuff released.

Amazing how annoyingly small that key hole becomes when you're in a hurry. There was probably more fumbling than Will would have liked, but eventually James would feel the cuff come loose and then release entirely. ]

[Every fumble seems to take an eternity, but then all of a sudden he's free and he's catapulting off the bed with every ounce of speed available to him, uncaring of the tugging at his wound.]

I should-- I need to go.

[That's a bad idea. It's Will that grounds him, Will or Steve, and the latter isn't here.]

[ It has taken some time, some definitely trial and error -with mixed results- but Will has learned that leaving is the last thing James should do. Even though that is the only thought in the other man's mind at the moment.

Reaching up, slowly in a way that hasn't yet triggered the Soldier, Will moved to set his palm gently against James' sternum; right above his heart. It was a light touch, one that could be easily moved away from -he knew better than to grab- but was physical contact all the same.

Will also remained in his crouch by the bed, keeping his head lower than his friend's. It was a deliberately non-threatening posture and like the touch, designed so that James could move away from it at any time. ]

James. [ The name was uttered in that soft, coaxing tone. ] You need to stay here. You've lost a lot of blood, you still need to clean the wound and you know ... you know this is a safe place for you to be.

[Bucky's entire body is tense underneath Will's hand, like a dog backed into a corner and considering whether to bite out or whether that hand is one that actually means well.

He hates that he gets like this, that he knows if he stays then there's a chance that he could hurt Will, and if he goes then there's an even higher chance that he'll end up hurting someone else if he doesn't get out of the city in time.]

Shit.

[Just... shit.]

You should make me go and not look back, this isn't right.

I'm an adult, James. [ Will said, his words firm but not combative. ] And I can make my own decisions about what I feel is right, or not right.

[ These situations were always a delicate balance, where part of Will wanted to point out that interacting with dangerous personalities was something he was drawn too. His body bore the scars of the trail of his empathy.

But he was careful never to turn the lens in that direction. These instances, and moving through them -whether it was a step forward or two steps back- were about James. And Will was focused on helping his friend. ]

You're here because I want you here and because, I hope, you want to be here.

You're a goddamn idiot, is what you are.

[It bursts out of him and he takes a very deliberate step back towards the window, even though he obviously doesn't actually want to leave.]

You've told me yourself, and I've seen it, you're drawn to dangerous people. You're gonna let me destroy you one of these days.

[ There was a tense moment, where Will looked less than pleased at being called an idiot. But after a breath, the tension left his body and he gave a sad sort of chuckle. ]

You wouldn't be the first to accuse me of such, and worse.

[ There was a reason why Will was just as anti-social as James, and there was a part of him that was resigned to the fact that his life was one that was meant to be lived alone. Maybe it wasn't Will who needed to run far away, but rather James.

Turning to start cleaning up the mess around the bed and ... yeah need to strip those sheets -a couple of blood drops had stained them- Will took his gaze off James, deliberately removing that source of pressure. ]

You wouldn't be the first person who has tried to destroy me, so far I've weathered the storms. At least you can have the comfort of knowing that I do this with my eyes wide open, rather than through some misguided arrogance of invulnerability.

[Will was sensible. Steve, in these situations, tended to spout nonsense like Bucky could never hurt him, or he trusted him, or other such idiotic but comforting things. Will understood that the threat was real and didn't undermine it, it made it easier to spend time around him.]

But unlike the other people who tried to destroy you, I don't want to.

[The admission is low and careful.]

Destroying you would destroy me too.

[ James had a fair point there and after a beat, Will conceded it with a small duck of his head.

He had the bed stripped down and he bundled the sheets into a ball, which he deposited over by the doorway before turning and walking back towards the other man. Once again, Will was cautious in how close he came, but he also -quite deliberately- placed himself within reach. ]

What's the answer then? [ He asked, his tone genuinely curious. ] Put me in the china cupboard and leave me to collect dust? Sounds like a lonely existence, both for you and for me.

[He knows what the right answer is. He should walk away, he should make sure that he doesn't send them both down a destructive path, but that's not fair. He doesn't want to walk away, he doesn't want to spend his whole life in isolation, he should be able to find a way to be safe to the people he loves and free.

There's a frozen moment, before he just takes a step forwards and winds his arms around Will. He's always deliberately careful to keep his grip loose, always overly aware of his own strength.]

I hate you sometimes, you know that?

[It's not said with any bite at all, more fondness than anything.]

[ Will was well aware that this moment could go either way. James had walked away from him countless other times and the ex-profiler didn't fool himself into believing that if his friend really intended to walk away, he wouldn't be out that window in a blink.

It was one of the risks of ... this ... whatever it was growing between them. That one day James was going to set his mind to running and he'd be gone before Will could blink. But with risk came reward and as his friend gathered him close, Will went willingly into the embrace.

He was gently amused at how careful James was, though Will was in no way shy in the wrap of his own arms in return. Firm, perhaps surprisingly strong given his small frame, he didn't cling but he did make sure his friend could feel the welcome and want (not sexual, just yet, rather I like hugging you) in his own hold.

If James really stopped to think about how Will discreetly went out of his way to avoid even the most casual of contact from strangers, then hopefully this hug would carry even more weight.

Laying his head against James' shoulder, Will chuckled at the words. ]

I get that alot.

[Perhaps it's because Will is so tentative about these sorts of relationships too that makes this one work, because Bucky is equally floored by the weight of what's being given in return. He knows how long it took for either of them to become comfortable with just the lightest touch, and now they were embracing.

He snorts lightly, leaving his flesh arm around Will while letting his other drop to his side.]

Then maybe you shouldn't be such a stubborn punk, huh?

[ He understood why James went with the one armed hug and to express that understanding, Will leaned into it, settling himself in the crook of James' hold. The comment earned the other man a wry chuckle and the ex-profiler leaned back so he could look into his face.

Appearing to give it some thought, he shook his head and offered up that rare, genuine grin. ]

No, no I don't think so.

[ At least he was honest?

The grin morphed into the even rarer smile and Will rocked up on his toes slightly (three inch height difference was still three inch height difference) to press a warm kiss against James' cheek. ]

[It was always good to see Will smile, it didn't happen often and usually there was still some reservations behind it when it did. This, though, this was beautiful because of its rarity but also because he was the one who helped put it there. It set the last bit of tension seeping out of his own shoulders in return.]

You couldn't even try? Just a bit?

[He doesn't want Will to change, but this teasing is easier than what came before.]

You might not have to deal with so many homeless guys breaking in if you were less like this.

[ Leaning back, Will made a production out of studying James face. It relaxed him as some of tension left his friend's body and he was more than happy to let the conversation move to more teasing ground. ]

I think I'd find myself lonesome indeed if I lost that. [ He pointed out, bringing one arm back around so he could lift his hand and palm the side of James' face, briefly caressing the stubble.

It was a bit of a surprise to Will himself, how he'd come to appreciate these late nights/early mornings, when James made his way in through the window. For so long the ex-profiler had been content to live on his own, never really aware of any sense of loneliness. He valued his solitude, for the most part, but now could recognize that he also valued the opportunity to share it with James.

Lowering his hand, he moved to lean back intending to step away. ]

Come on. You can finish getting cleaned up, I'll open a can of soup and heat us up a bit of food.

[These light touches, something that might not mean much to most people and seem entirely too innocent for the depth of the friendship they had now, always hit him hard. He'd remember the feel of Will's fingers along his jaw for days, the exact pressure and the warmth of his skin a reminder that he has good things in his life.]

Maybe in a minute, I didn't actually come here just to get stitched up.

[That was just a bonus.

He lets Will step back as soon as he moves to do so, even if he could easily keep him in place if he wanted to. Both of them have boundaries and personal space that's much more fiercely protected than most people do.]

I have something to show you out in the city.

[ The latter statement saw Will pause and turn back to his friend, one eyebrow raising. ]

Do I need to put my gun back together? [ It was a genuine question, because sometimes James took him out to see an interesting sight, or simply to enjoy a newly discovered place of peace and quiet.

And sometimes James took him out on a small monster wrangling adventure. Will had noted that James didn't take him out against anything particularly dangerous -a fact that he found vaguely amusing- but sometimes it was good to have a second gun around.

His response was also a ready agreement. No matter how late the hour or what he was up too, when James came by with these invitations Will never turned them down. The opportunities they afforded, to be invited into that personal boundary, was too precious to deny. ]

No.

[Its not often that Bucky takes Will out with him somewhere, just occasionally when he feels an odd need for companionship that won't judge him and won't get in the way. Strange how often that turns out to be Will.]

You might need some thin rope, but you don't really need anything.

[He could head out of the door, but he prefers to use the window. Too many people can see him leaving and entering through the main doorways of buildings and the sniper in him won't let him put himself in that sort of vulnerable position. So he goes to perch on the windowsill, waiting until Will is ready to join him.]

[ Thin rope?

Alright, that had him curious. ]

Give me a minute to find my shoes.

[ It took a little over a minute for Will to secure his front door -he'd just go out the window as well- and set about getting himself pulled together for an outing. Shoes, a light jacket and lo and behold, the suggested rope!

Will shut off all the lights except the one lamp at his bedside and then crossed over to the window. ]

That windowsill isn't going to fit the two of us. [ He said; his way of letting James know he was ready to follow. Lead the way! ]

[That's enough of a hint to have him jumping down, silent and graceful. He only waits long enough for Will to make it to the ground beside him before he sets off through the darkened streets.

It's easy enough to avoid the main thoroughfares where the clubs are still brightly lit and people mingle in a heaving mass of sweat and alcohol, his world consists of the alleyways and backstreets, the rooftops and even the sewers on occasion. This time he doesn't lead Will too far from his home, just to an alley behind a closed shop.]

Go on. There's someone down there who I think you are best qualified to help.

[ Will followed along, and if he did not move with nearly as much grace, he at least managed to cover the ground quietly. As far as he was concerned any paths that avoided the crush of hormone laden humanity pouring out of the clubs at this time of night was a good thing and he expected that James was leading him towards the edges of the city.

So it came as a surprise when they stopped at the mouth of a particularly dark alley.

For a moment he looked confused, but before he opened his mouth to ask he heard it; a soft canine whine from somewhere in the shadows. Will blinked and looked back to James for confirmation. ]

[It's a confirmation he gets with a slight nod. Once he'd found the stray dog, there was only one person he could think of to go to, given all that Will had told him about his veritable pack of them back home.

This one is a mongrel, though there's definitely collie in it somewhere. It's too thin and it snarls when anyone comes close, scared and injured, one of its legs obviously broken.]

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