PSL for Renart

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Comments

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Keep saying things like that and you’ll give me a big head.

[He holds her back, gentle and quiet for a moment. What would help him fix something like this? How would he deal with the loss of John or Renart? How did he deal with losing Steve? Isolating himself, running away, and throwing his focus into something else. Not ideal, but maybe he can salvage something healthier from that.]

... come on, why don’t we go away someplace for a few days? To the islands or up the mountain, just a couple of days until you feel ready to deal with the village without Monty’s house in it.

[aigue]

Go away...?

[Ironically, running away is how she usually deals with difficult situations like this one. This world isn't very big and the islands would mean sand in her fur, but the mountains....

They're very isolated.]

Okay. Gabriel can watch the tribbles.

[He'd be fine with them, and she isn't sure it would be a good idea to take them up the mountain where they could get hurt.]

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[He's trying to make it less about running away by framing it as needing space to come to terms with the loss, before confronting it so baldly. But it's definitely running away.]

Okay, fine. Your choice, where do you want to go?

[It's not like it matters much to him either way, he can survive most environments, though he'd prefer not to go to the cold of the mountains if he had to choose.]

[aigue]

The mountains.

[It isn't even a contest.]

Islands have too much sand. And the lodge has a hot tub.

[So it'll be like a vacation. A sad, miserable vacation.]

[advanced]

[Urgh, the mountains. He doesn't show any disappointment, he just nods.]

Ain't that just called a bathtub?

[Hot tubs have passed him by just a bit.]

[aigue]

This is much grander than a bath tub. You'll see.

[Because now she has to drag him into it, and if they end up flirting well, that's life.]

You'll need a bathing suit.

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I don't have one, if I have to go in then I can wear my underpants.

[He'd usually go in naked, but he has a feeling that's probably setting the wrong tone in this case.]

[aigue]

[Uh wow, she won't argue with that.]

Alright.

[As much as she doesn't want to, she pulls back.]

I'll take the tribbles over to Gabriel's.

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I'll get some supplies together, I'll meet you at the edge of the village in an hour?

[That should give her time to go back home as well and get some supplies of her own.]

[aigue]

[She nods, climbing to her feet.]

One hour.

[That time will be spent wrangling the tribbles and dropping them off with Gabriel, then heading back to her place to throw together a quick bag consisting of her bathing suit, some clothing, and one or two bottles of wine. When she arrives at the edge of the village she's got her winter coat on, but otherwise she's dressed lightly. She doesn't need much when her tail can keep her warm.]

[advanced]

[Bucky makes sure to gather a bit more than that. His bag contains his sleeping bag, some extra layers, food rations, and water canteens. And weapons, though out of deference to Renart they're all knives rather than guns.

He raises a hand to her when he gets to the edge of the village, small smile playing at the corner of his lips.]

Is that all you're bringing?

[aigue]

[She gives him a small wave in return.]

I don't need much.

[Though now she's curious as to what he brought, and peers at his bag.]

Ready?

[advanced]

[He shifts his bag more comfortably onto his shoulder, sort of wishing he had his other arm back now just to have one free as they walk, and nods.]

Sure. I've not been up into the mountains yet, so I'll let you lead the way.

[aigue]

Alright.

[She notices his shifting as she starts up the trail.]

Are you going to be fine? I can help carry something.

[advanced]

[If he didn't know her better, the idea that this tiny fox woman was offering to take his burdens would be funny. As it is, he still smiles down at her.]

Pretty sure my Ma would whup me if she thought I was making the lady carry everything. I should be offering to take your bag.

[aigue]

That would be a bit awkward, don't you think? Not that I think you couldn't do it if you wanted to.

[But one arm, two bags, going up a mountain? A regular person certainly couldn't manage.

She gives him a small smile back.]

Feminist movements and all that, I'm perfectly capable of carrying my own bag.

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You know, I really I wish I'd seen all of that.

[He doesn't talk much about the things he's missed, it strays too close to what he might have been doing during those years. But Renart is safe, has always been one of the safe ones to talk to.]

I read a few books about it, people burning lingerie in the sixties and this push on women not staying home with the kids. That wasn't done back in my day, a gal got married and looked after the home. I wish I could've seen it change, I sometimes wonder if my sisters got involved in it all.

[aigue]

I tried giving John a pile of books on the history of it. Maybe he still has them.

[She doubts he actually bothered to read any......]

I bet we could wish for a bunch of documentaries to watch, too. They like using old footage, we could even try looking for your sisters in them.

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I wouldn't recognise them.

[It's a hard admission to make, which is why he falls back on the rather expressionless tone he uses when things are too difficult, walling himself away from it personally.]

I think I had three sisters, but that's about all I remember. I know the oldest one was called Rebecca, but only because someone told me. I don't know what any of them looked like.

[aigue]

[Her ears droop, and she's silent for a few moments. At least she'd recognize her kits if she ever saw them.]

... Would you want to? Recognize them, I mean.

[advanced]

Yeah, of course.

[But he's learnt to live with the gaps in his memory, and knowing he might never truly get everything back.]

They were my family.

[aigue]

Then what if we tried jogging your memory?

[She isn't sure how ridiculous of an idea this is, but maybe it's worth suggesting.]

We could ask Zephyr for family photos, that sort of thing. Home movies if they ever ended up making any....

[advanced]

[He's sometimes thought about things like that himself, so it's not so insane a suggestion, but something about it feels uncomfortable. Like he'd be spying on someone's life that he doesn't even know, without their consent.]

Photographs, maybe. From when I was still at home, but nothing from after. I was never a part of their lives then, it seems wrong to spy on it after the fact.

[aigue]

[They probably wouldn't mind, is what she wants to say, but she only nods.]

Let's do that when we get back, then.

[It'll be a good distraction from Monty.]

[advanced]

Sure.

[He agrees easily enough because she might have forgotten by then, if he doesn't bring it up again.]

How far into the mountains are we going?