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3336 Cream Puff Way

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[aigue]

You can relate to that, I bet.

[From what he's told her the similarities are there, which is unfortunate. Even though she's fine with being a Fairy Tale, it isn't something she'd want to see anyone go through. That they're friends makes it even worse.

She's getting a little more sober.]

It is what it is. I can't change how things are, and despairing over it doesn't do anyone any good.

[advanced]

[He nods, that's a fair attitude to have, but it doesn't always make it easier to think so logically.]

Would you?

[It's a quiet question with unusual gravity.]

If you could change how things are, and go back to what you were, would you do it?

[aigue]

[She's quiet for a few moments, but she has something of an answer. She has ever since Zephyr gave her her old body back.]

... I don't think so. I'd be trying to go back to a life that's long dead. Everything and everyone I knew back then is long gone, and I'd be abandoning what I've built up as a Fairy Tale.

[She certainly wouldn't be able to maintain the same kinds of relationships as a regular wild fox. Chances are she'd run off into the forests and live with the other foxes, avoiding people and only being concerned about food and raising kits.]

I'd be abandoning what humans gave me.

[advanced]

[That's where they differ.

He's glad, actually, to know that she feels that way. It means she's more accepting of who she is now, and maybe of the benefits she's gained from having this change. It might not make it less painful, but it might make it easier to bear the pain.]

If it's worth anything, I'm glad to have had the chance to meet you.

[He wouldn't have, if she were just a normal fox.]

[aigue]

It's worth a lot. [She smiles at him, despite this being such a depressing topic.] Relationships are just about all I have now.

[That's not a bad thing, of course.]

I'm guessing you'd go back if you could?

cw: suicide

[advanced]

Mm.

[He's silent for a few moments, but he doesn't think she's going to tell John or freak out too much if he tells her a secret.]

There was someone in Norfinbury who had the ability to erase people from existence, before he died we made a deal that he'd erase me after I fell from the train. Guess he stayed dead, since I'm still here.

[aigue]

[That... is extreme. Very extreme. Frankly, she has to work to keep herself from being outwardly shocked and asking him what the fuck.

So there's mild surprise on her features, raising her eyebrows.]

You know, if he had followed through on that we wouldn't have had the chance to meet.

[advanced]

I know.

[He shrugs, expression neutral although his voice is slightly apologetic.]

Sometimes, in order to do the right thing, sacrifices have to be made.

[aigue]

[She chews on her lower lip.]

Why do you think it's the right thing?

[advanced]

You saw how quickly I tried to attack you, I haven't been a good guy.

[That was putting it incredibly mildly.]

[aigue]

[She sighs heavily. He's right, if she had been a normal human who knows what kind of damage he could have done.

Who knows what he's done to other people.]

As horrible as thing as making someone disappear is, I understand why you would want to do it.

[advanced]

You really think it's horrible if it's to save the world from something evil?

[Would she think it equally as terrible to disappear one of the more well known murderers, just because they didn't stick to the shadows as much?]

There are some people that the world would be better off without, I'm one of them.

[aigue]

I'm a very selfish person and don't like seeing my friends disappear.

[It hits close to home.]

That's something that happened to certain Fairy Tales. If their stories stopped being popular, then the belief from humans ran out and they faded away. It was something that could happen to anyone in Between too, if they didn't have enough sex.

[advanced]

I'm sorry.

[Obviously he hadn't known, but now he wishes he hadn't said anything to her when the subject of people disappearing is difficult for her. It doesn't change the fact that he genuinely believes the world would have been better off without him, but it does change his perspective on wanting to talk to her about it.]

That place sounds awful. Norfinbury was bad, but at least it didn't make us prostitute ourselves to survive.

[aigue]

It is what it is. Obviously it means I'm biased when it comes to this kind of thing, but at the end of the day you can only do what you think is right.

[She gives him a little shrug.]

The people you've met since you fell from the train, the ones you didn't hurt. They'd miss you.

[advanced]

Maybe.

[His eyes are hard and unyielding, though.]

The world would still be better without me in it. I didn't know about what happened to the people where you're from, I'm sorry, I should never have brought it up. Forget I said anything.

[aigue]

No, I'm glad you brought it up.

[No matter how depressing it is.]

I'd rather be aware of the possibility, rather than you just up and disappearing someday. Closure is easier with the former than the latter.

Besides, this isn't the exact same as back home. You're getting to make that choice yourself, they never had that luxury.

[advanced]

No, I don’t. Zephyr won’t respect that kind of choice.

[He has already had that discussion with the little godling and it still frustrates him.]

So I won’t disappear, you don’t have to worry about that.

[aigue]

... Oh.

[Her ears droop a little. She's conflicted - on the one hand it should be his choice and his choice only. On the other, she's selfish and glad he isn't going to disappear like so many others.]

Maybe when they get older they'll be able to understand.

[advanced]

[He scrubs a hand through his hair, always forgetting how short it is again now until he touches it.]

I’m sorry, it ain’t a pleasant conversation to know someone would be better dead. I came to talk to you about your stories, so how about we move back to that? Beowulf seems like... well, if I’m being honest, he seems like a goddamn idiot. A good man and an idiot.

[Just like Steve.]

[aigue]

Better than you keeping it bottled up.

[Which, if he hasn't already told John all this, is what she assumes he is doing.]

If you want to talk about Beowulf we can, but I want some coffee. Do you have any in here, or do we need to go out?

[She's just going to wander over to the kitchen.]

[advanced]

[He doesn't think of it as bottling things up, and more not bothering to discuss things that don't have relevance right then and there.]

I don't really go out to places where you can get coffee.

[He has been in the rec centre all of once, and that was just to scope it out.]

But I guess we can if you need coffee that much.

[aigue]

Good. Let's go.

Spinning around, she now heads for the door.]

Do you prefer coffee? Or tea?

[advanced]

Coffee.

[Said like that's the only correct choice.]

Didn't really have a lot of tea when I was growing up, too expensive.

[aigue]

[And off they go! She's mulling over some poetry for payment as they walk.]

Don't tell John that, I think he'd get offended. The English take their tea very seriously.