PSL for Renart

[advanced]

Comments

[aigue]

[She's in the shower far longer than she normally is, mostly to put off having to deal with everything when she's finished. That'll have to come at some point though, so eventually she finishes, dries herself off (and her tail, as much as she can) before dressing in her clothes from yesterday.

She takes a deep breath before leaving the bathroom, then heads back over to the living room.]

I should go.

[advanced]

[He eyes her carefully, trying to figure out if she really does need some alone time or if she's trying to escape to mope.]

That what you really want?

[He's not holding her prisoner, he just doesn't want her to sink into isolation and self destructive behaviour.]

[aigue]

I mean. [She takes a few steps towards the door.] I'm just bothering you, so it's better if I go.

[advanced]

[He frowns, suddenly and fiercely, and closes the distance between them to reach out and very gently, but very definitely, tug on her tail.]

Pretty sure I warned you a long time ago about the consequences of saying dumb stuff like that.

[aigue]

[She reflexively jumps, before taking her tail into her arms protectively.]

I can't expect you to keep putting up with me. That isn't fair to you.

[advanced]

How about you let me decide what's fair to me, huh?

[He will tweak the tail again, don't test him on this. He's sympathetic to her situation at the moment, but he's not going to brook any of that self flagellation stuff.]

[aigue]

[She holds her tail a bit tighter.]

Do you really think it's fair?

[advanced]

[He shrugs, unconcerned.]

I don't know, but I don't really care about fair. I always want you around, that's pretty much the long and short of it.

[aigue]

[That remark is making her turn red again.]

'Always'? You can't be serious.

[advanced]

...okay, maybe not when I'm in the bathroom, but other than that. Yeah. Always.

[And for someone as antisocial as him, that's a fairly big deal.]

[aigue]

That's....

[Oh god what does she do with this.]

That's really nice to hear. And really unfair.

[advanced]

Yeah?

[He leans half against the wall, fixing her with a quizzical look.]

Why is it unfair?

[aigue]

Well.

[She looks down at her hands.]

You won't sleep with me.

[advanced]

[Okay, now he looks less quizzical and more wary.]

What's that got to do with wanting you around?

[aigue]

Don't you find it hard to be around me without wanting to be closer?

[Maybe it's just her.]

It's hard for me.

[advanced]

Sometimes.

[It's maybe not the passionate answer that she would want, but he strives to be honest.]

There are moments when it's really hard not to kiss you, but I don't just feel physical things towards you. I love having you around just to talk, is that weird?

[aigue]

... No.

[She'd really like to say it is, maybe finagle him into something physical.]

That's what makes this special. It's one thing to be attracted to someone physically, it's something else to actually want them around for more than that.

[advanced]

Then you get it, even if it's hard sometimes then it's worth it.

[Maybe easier for him than her, because he has less experience with and less desire for the whole physical thing most of the time.]

I promise we'll find a way to make you feel better without ruining our friendship, okay?

[aigue]

We won't ruin anything.

[She sounds firm about that.]

I don't think - doing more will ruin our friendship.

[advanced]

[He snorts dryly and raises an eyebrow.]

Sex right now would definitely ruin our friendship. You're thinking about Monty, and we both know it, it'd make things awkward because it's not something we can undo once we've done it.

[aigue]

[She's nearly pouting back at him.]

So I should stop thinking about him, then.

[advanced]

That's not what I said. Besides, can you do that? Would you even want to if you could?

[Surely, even if it hurts to miss him, she wouldn't want to be able to wipe him away so easily.]

[aigue]

Right now, yes. It means everything will stop hurting if I do.

[advanced]

We've been over this, hurting is the right thing when you're missing someone. Let it happen and in time it'll hurt less.

[aigue]

[She sighs heavily.]

I have nothing but time. It's never going to stop hurting.