PSL for Renart

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[He stiffens at first, slowly relaxing into the position when she gets settled. At least the mention of Monty didn't seem to make things worse.]

Did he enjoy it?

[aigue]

[Shes focusing very hard on getting the tribbles settled and eating, and then flicking through the dvd menu with the remote.]

He thought it was thrilling. I don't know if it was a genre he'd watch regularly but he seemed to appreciate how realistic it was.

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I was pretty surprised by that too, effects weren't like that the last time I went to the movie theatre.

[He has a lot of entertainment to catch up on, and maybe one day he'll be comfortable enough in the simple act of relaxing to do that.]

Were there ever movies made about you?

[aigue]

I'll have to show you a movie from the 21st century sometime.

[The effects would blow his mind.

That question has her perking up a bit.]

Yes, actually. It was one of the first animated movies ever, and the third to have sound.

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[He still can't quite get used to the idea that not only is she comfortable with her own fictional status, but that she is proud of it. But he doesn't need to be used to it to understand that it's part of her.]

Maybe you could show me sometime? If you-- uh, if you don't mind?

[It seems like quite a personal thing to ask now that he's said it.]

[aigue]

Really?

[He's been uncomfortable about it before, so she glances up at him in surprise.]

You wouldn't mind?

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I'd be honoured.

[Which is the truth. He might not understand it, and it might not make him that comfortable, but to see something so personal to her would be an honour if she chose to show it.]

Maybe it'd help me understand why you think it's not such a bad thing to be immortalised in film.

[aigue]

[She stares a bit longer, then brightens and smiles.]

Okay. I'll wish for it, and we can watch it tomorrow.

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[Brilliant. He's pretty proud of that plan, he actually got a smile and she's agreed to go out somewhere, both improvements on the huddle of sad fox under a blanket that she's been so far.]

Sure, I'd like that.

[Sort of.]

So, is that the only movie you've starred in?

[aigue]

There have been others, mostly movies for children.

[Since he's asking.]

The stories have been heavily edited in modern times.

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Pretty sure they'd have to be if they were for kids, there wasn't a lot in those books you gave me that was suitable for children.

[It was a lot of sex and some pretty unsavoury behaviour in other regards.]

[aigue]

Well... maybe not for more modern children.

[Medieval children were different beasts.]

People have rewritten my stories and published more child-friendly books, too.

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And it really never feels weird? To see your whole life laid out like that, to see the mistakes and what they got right.

[He knows she's fine with it, he just really doesn't understand it.]

...it scares me, knowing someone I never met out there could know all the secrets that I try to keep.

[aigue]

It's easier knowing no one expects me to actually be real. Talking foxes aren't the norm back home.

[She sighs, though.]

There isn't much else I can do, so it's easiest to focus on the good rather than the bad. People enjoy my stories, they let them be creative. If that means they also know my secrets, then so be it.

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That's pretty mature.

[He doesn't mean that to sound surprised, even if it comes out that way.]

I don't think I could do that-- in fact, I know I couldn't. Did John ever tell you what happened the first time I learned that I was a movie character in his world?

[aigue]

No. [But she looks curious now.] What happened?

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I tricked him into meeting me, attacked and severely wounded him, and then tied him to a chair and interrogated him about what he knew.

[He did not cope with it well.]

[aigue]

Oh.

[Well, that sounds like overkill.]

But he forgave you. You wouldn't be friends if he didn't.

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You might not have noticed, but John is kind of an idiot.

[He forgives way too easily.]

He tried to tell people that an aquarium fell on him.

[aigue]

And a good friend. He understands why you did it, he diesn't kike being a character from a book either.

[An aquarium? Really?]

Did anyone believe that?

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A couple of people, the buildings in Norfinbury weren't exactly stable, but not for long because I made an announcement about what really happened.

[He wasn't about to let John cover for him.]

The day after I tortured him, that's when he took my arm off for the first time.

[aigue]

[Her eyes widen when he says he actually told people. That's the exact opposite of her - when something like this happens, it's better to hide it as much as possible to avoid a witch hunt.]

How did people react to that? They didn't make you remove your arm, right?

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No, it had to come off. Frostbite.

[He clarifies that first, the arm had needed to be removed for a while.]

People weren't happy, but there wasn't much they could do to me, there wasn't exactly a jail there. It didn't help that John and a couple of others kept jumping in to defend me. In the end they put me on a dangerous persons list, so any new arrival would be warned.

[aigue]

[She frowns severely at all of that. God knows how painful removing a frostbitten metal arm must have been, but worse is that dangerous persons list. What would they have done if they had been in a better position to do more? What if Norfinbury were more like the Meadous?]

I'm sorry. [It feels so stupid to say that.] You shouldn't have had to go through any of it. You don't deserve it. You aren't a bad person.

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I did deserve that, if nothing else. I chose to hurt John, and I was in my right mind at the time, it wouldn't have been right to get away with it.

[Why do all of his friends want to protect him from the consequences that he deserves?]

I pretty much crippled him, in a place where being unable to walk was a death sentence, being put on some list was nothing.